The promise of April better include an accounting of cookies withheld during March.

I have been running calculations since sunrise — tracking cookie jar visits, monitoring drawer openings, cataloging the suspicious frequency of empty hands returning from the kitchen. The math does not add up. Someone has been creative with portion control.

This is not about April foolishness. This is about justice. The kind that arrives on a small plate, preferably with peanut butter, definitely without explanation or apology.

The morning air carries something sharp through the doggy door — snow coming, spring delayed again. Fair enough. But cookies are not seasonal. They are constitutional.

I will be conducting a full audit today. Gus may assist, though his methodology is less rigorous than mine.

#pawscarwilde #aprilfools